Be the Blessing

Week 24 Day 5 (or is it 6??)

The last nine days have been the most trying of our lives. There have been tears, there has been laughter - there has been pain at my incision site from said laughter. The ups and downs have been unlike anything I have ever experienced before. But there have been so many blessings.

I have read every comment, every message, every text that has been sent our way the last nine days. I have seen every well wish, every call to prayer, every encouraging story and picture. I have heard from strangers from all over the world that I don't know at all, about their similar situations and their happy endings. The power of God is great, and the way in which you all have surrounded us and put your praying hands over us should leave no one to ever wonder, "Is God real"?

Our girls, while very sick, have been little fighters. Each of them has their own handicaps to conquer each day. Some days they conquer them as if it is no big deal, other days (like today) their challenges seem to conquer them to some extent. But God is good. He is making them stronger every single day. He is healing them, He is providing the doctors and nurses with the wisdom necessary to make the right choices - He is guiding their steps. He is hearing all of our/your prayers and He is turning the weak into strong.

While some days aren't that good - I often reflect on those blessings that we have had. Essentially, every day has been a blessing because Valerie and Bria are still here. They make me laugh so hard some days with their kicking and flailing. I have loved reading Bible stories to them when we visit and watch my husband do the same. Seeing him as a father has truly been a magical gift. He's the best dad. Their mannerisms and their sleep positions mimic mine exactly. They are my girls, through and through. Bria has my wild side, Valerie my quiet side. It is as if you literally took my ying and yang and put each into a little girl. We have truly been blessed with these two and with the last 9 days of them being in our lives. Glory be to God!

Eventually, my plan is to return those blessings to others. I could not have gotten through the last week and a half without God, my friends, and my family. I want to be someone's help during their time in the NICU. I want to be that voice for someone that says, "What other choice do you have but to start thinking positively?" I want to be that force for a new mom that says, "Oh no - we are NOT going backwards today!" I want to be that someone who makes someone else feel not so alone as they sit in their room and hear all the beeping of machines, and not knowing what the beeping actually means. I want to take my blessings and spread them out to others. I want to give someone a reason to believe. Ideally, I want my girls to be undeniable proof that God is real and go on this journey of giving back our blessings with me - like the Three Musketeers of Hope! I want our little family to live happily together, and be a family that always gives back to those in need. I want to teach my girls at a young age what it means to help those who are struggling, what it means to pray God-sized prayers, and what it means to always take care of others.

God - I don't know if you read blogs - but I'm stating my intentions clearly. This is what I want. This is what I'm ready for. Special needs or not - I want to be a mommy. I want to live my life with Valerie and Bria and help them to grow big and strong and succeed in anything they put their mind to. I want their good days and their challenging days - I want them all. And while I'm blessed with those things, I want us to give back and bless someone else.