Where Does Faith Come From?

Week 26 Day 1

There have been many comments on my posts lately about my faith, or me being strong or an inspiration. First, thank you - that means the world to me. Sometimes I wonder where this faith came from during this hard time.

I'll be honest - I listen to church, but I don't physically have a church that I go to regularly. I read uplifting Christian books, and prior to this ordeal I often forgot to say bedtime prayers. So if you think for a hot second that my faith is what it is because that's how I was brought up, you are wrong.

My faith has grown from a lot of "stuff" that has happened in my life. Sometimes, we can go through the tough things and wonder where God is, and usually He is working right alongside of us but we don't realize it. Sometimes, we go through rough patches at work, at home, etc. and God is trying to use those times to get through to us, to draw us more near to Him. Some take the opportunity, others just keep looking around and asking "Where's God now?"

I think one of the issues surrounding faith is the focus on what "favor" looks like. Most people hear the word, "favor" and confuse it with meaning "ease", "perfection", "smooth sailing", etc. But favor is around us every day. Some days it is very apparent - something you have been praying for has happened. Other days, you need to dig a little deeper into your heart and find it. I remember a few years ago when someone very close to me was going through something tough and I told her, "You have to have faith" and her response was, "My faith in God doesn't exist right now."

That is when your faith needs to be the greatest. Your faith should not only exist when things are going right - it needs to exist when things are going wrong. Faith doesn't mean "life is good". Faith shouldn't be dependent on whether you are in a beautiful season or a tough season of life. Faith just is. On the good days, you thank God for a good day. On boring days, you thank God for a boring day. And on the tough days, you ask God to use you in this moment, to teach you lessons, to help you see the reason, to bring the right people into your life, etc. Faith shouldn't only exist in seasons of "favor" - faith needs to be present during ALL seasons.

Again, this took me some time to realize. Walking into my current situation, there was no other option but to turn to God. Through prior bad times, I have learned that when I lean on Him instead of trying to figure things out myself - stuff just seems to work out for the best. Funny isn't it? The scripture tells us that God's plans are always better than our own, and when I lean on Him things work out. Hmm. So when this situation happened, it was an immediate discussion with God. The more discussions I have had, the more I have seen His blessings. I am noticing people coming into my life in ways that are very miraculous (I had a mother reach out to me who also had twin girls in the NICU at West Penn Hospital to help me through things - turns out she wasn't just in the same NICU, her girls were in the same room. They were the occupants before we came in - how is that for a Godwink?)  I have had friends of friends reach out to me with success stories of their own children who have faced the same hurdles to tell me how it turned out for them. I have been connected to charities, I have had so many people tell me their own tales of their 23 weekers or people  who knew others who have had babies at 23 weeks. I have friends reaching out to people they know at various hospitals connecting my girls with the best doctors there. God is working. God is blessing us and my girls every day. When you go into a situation, good or bad, and you begin searching for the blessings rather than the downfalls you start to witness God's goodness.

What helped me strengthen my faith:

1. Surrender - "Let go and let God"  Some things in life are going to be completely out of your control. There is nothing you can do. When that happens, you have to turn it over to the Lord because only He can guide the hands that can help.

2. Have the Tough Discussions - You're not talking to yourself, you're talking to God. If you are mad, tell Him. If you are afraid, ask Him to walk closer to you. If you are confused, ask Him to guide you towards the best decision. God wants to hear from you - the good and the bad. Do not be afraid to tell Him exactly what is on your mind, and exactly where you need help.

3. Praise! Praise! Praise! - As my Grandma used to say, "In the good times, Praise! In the bad times, Praise!"  In the good times, praise His name for all He is providing and guiding you towards. In the bad times, praise His name for all that he is showing you and how He is working behind the scenes. Just because you can't see it - doesn't mean it's not happening. Just because it doesn't go your way, doesn't mean there isn't a plan.

Remember, friends, God can use any situation for good. It might not be the way we would have hoped that something would have happened. In fact, many times the plan might be something that we would rather give up in order to have things worked out the way we wanted - but the plan is good. Always keep the faith. Sometimes, it's going to be hard. I won't lie, I have personally thought about how I would keep my faith if the worst happens with my girls and the answer is - I just will. I just will. If the worst happens, it's not something I'm going to readily understand, but I know there is a plan surrounding it and I will allow God to guide my steps accordingly.

So if you are ever reading my posts and thinking that my faith is so strong and wishing you had that kind of faith, or a better relationship with God - just start. Start talking to God. Start telling him what you're working towards. He has been wanting to hear from you <3